Learn to See Yourself with Compassion

November 14, 2011

The Notion of ‘Cheating’ in Photography

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Recently I’ve started to notice the frequency that the term ‘cheating’ comes up in reference to photography. I’m kind of in awe of how many people express this feeling.

Sometimes it is in reference to using photoshop or picnik to post-process photos or sometimes it is referring to using an automatic setting on their camera.

Most often people are sharing that they are getting over these feelings of ‘cheating’ but I’ve become acutely aware of the commonality of this feeling lately.

I wasn’t one of those people who picked up a camera when they were 5, fell in love with it and never looked back. Nor did I have an interest in it what so ever before 6 years ago. I came into photography in the digital age, first discovering my love for it by taking a photo of my rubber boots jumping in a puddle with a very simple old-school cell-phone camera. I didn’t take courses until the last few years ago so in a way I never really had any pressure put on me by a teacher or photographer saying what the right or wrong way to approach photography was. In a way I am glad it all happened the way it did, at a time when photography is so much more accessible than it has ever been before.

As those of you in my classes discover, I’m really not an elitest in photography. I really believe that it is never too late to discover your love for photography and that now is a really great moment to do so, with whatever camera you have.

On the other hand, I think there is value in more traditional methods of photography as well as having goals for aspects of photography you would like to achieve a level of skill in. I have a big love for shooting polaroid and TTV (through the viewfinder). To me, there is really nothing like looking through an SX-70, pressing the shutter and seeing some good old school polaroid film develop in front of your eyes. Same with TTV as there is a real magic to looking through a vintage camera with your digital and taking a photo (though you could say that TTV is kind of ‘cheating’ as it is a digital manipulation of a vintage camera….see….this idea is murky waters).

With both of these things you can now make a digital version of a Polaroid or TTV image in a mere minute. I most definitely feel like I am cheating when I do these effects on my iphone. Does that mean I shouldn’t do it?

I think that this feeling of ‘cheating’ is totally normal when photography is expanding and growing so fast. Where we have the opportunity to be playful in photography in a way that is quite different from the past.

I see both sides of it, both where it could be restricting and we might want to push past feelings of ‘cheating’ as well as times where we might want to pay attention to it. The only problem with these feelings of ‘cheating’ are if they stop you from creating. If the need for perfection restrains you from even trying.

For me, that feeling reminds me of how much I love my polaroid and reminds me to pick up my TTV to have that experience.

So I say, let’s embrace new ideas of what photography can be. Let’s embrace whatever way we each want to take photographs and celebrate that we each have the right.

Let’s also remember what we love about the techniques or types of photography that feel like they are something we want to strive for, just don’t let perfectionism stop you!

Really, I just wanted to share the thought that there is no one way to be a photographer these days. There is no right way to do it that is better than all the rest.

Is there an aspect of photography in which you feel like you are ‘cheating’?

Are there ways it feels useful to remind you of techniques or skills you want to develop?

Are there ways you could let go of that feeling like there is a certain way that one should ‘be’ a photographer?

With the frequency I hear this term being mentioned by my participants and friends these days I thought it was most definitely something to bring up for discussion…what do you think?

November 11, 2011

Success is not a Number

When I first started YAYOM I didn’t know how many people I wanted in the course. I would have been happy with however many signed up (as long as at least a few people did). Could I get a dozen people to take my class? I had been in courses with over a hundred people, another with hundreds. Would mine catch on like wildfire and be like that? Or would it be a beautiful small group?

As people signed up that first session I kept on changing my goal number. 10 people…sure that would be great. Oh, more than 10? 20 sounds lovely? I have 20? How about 40? That first session the registration mellowed out around the high fourties so I aimed to call it sold out at 50.

Did I have a reason for how many people I wanted at that point? Not really. I just hoped people would resonate with the course and that I would get enough to make it feel like a success to me.

What does success mean? Is it really a number of how many people you have or how much money you made? Or is success the way that people are changed by what you have to offer or the way they have transformative experiences through your inspiration?

As soon as the course began it really wasn’t about the numbers. It was all about the experience, yet I didn’t want to share that info publically. To some, success might be 100 or 200, to others success in registration might be 10. Would one of those be more valuable than the other? Would one course be more life changing than the other simply because of its class size? Likely not.

I didn’t want to share my class size numbers as I really believe that it isn’t the number of people you have in the class but the way that the course inspires them that should be a success. I didn’t want those folks who have less people in their class to feel like 50 people should be a bar of success.

In fact, I found 50 people to be a lot to keep up with. With any course, a certain percentage of people participate. In my more in depth courses I give feedback to every image that the participants share. I really want to make each person feel seen and to give them feedback. This has been one of my core ethics with teaching (another post on that topic soon) from the start and the other participants join in commenting and before we know it the supportive energy is pretty much magical.

My next session of YAYOM had a similar registration number and I didn’t yet share that info. As I’ve run it more, my registration numbers have become a bit smaller, averaging around the 30 person range. The first session where my numbers were lower I felt so vulnerable. What was I doing wrong? Was I oversaturating my own market? Were there just a lot of e-courses out there?

There was one week where I was in a panic. Freaking out majorly and in tears, sure that I should quit this business. I had just finished last winters session where we had a class at capacity and people were sending me emails telling me how much it changed their lives. I was fueled by this to open up a spring session. Then no one signed up. Day after day when no one signed up I felt like a failure, despite the emails telling me otherwise.

Registration is a wildly vulnerable experience. Each and every time. Teachers don’t tell you this, as at the time they are trying to market and promote their classes. It doesn’t necessarily feel like the time when you want to tweet “Doesn’t anyone want what I have to offer?” or “Should I even be doing this?” even though that is exactly what we may be feeling. Of course we absolutey need to be offering these courses or projects, but it is an undeniably vulnerable thing for me and I think likely for all of us.

Registration for e-courses or marketing a business of any sort is really hard work. For most of us, participants don’t just fall into our laps. Marketing, guest posting, writing articles, blog posts, twittering, promoting on facebook and yes even asking friends for help in promoting it is all a part of getting people to participate.

You are a success whether you have 5 participants or 50.

It was then when I really started to think about the class size and the energy that different class sizes bring. This session of YAYOM we have just over 30 people and I realize that I love this size of group. I’m able to keep up with the images in the flickr group and to check in with the participants who may not be active to see what I can help them with.

More importantly than my ability to keep up is how the participants are able to connect. Each session I get quite a few participants writing me letting me know how much they are liking the size of the class after having felt lost in really large sized classes.

Bigger is not necessarily better.

I find with art retreats as well I am drawn to the ones where there are a smaller number of participants so I can have a really connected experience rather than feeling lost in the crowd. A small retreat is not better than a really big one or vice versa, the smaller size is just better for me as a participant.

What I’ve learned is that we need to look at what we are wanting for the participants. What do you want the experience for them to be? Are you wanting to create a community atmosphere or is your class more about the content? Do you want to have as many people as possible be able to take the course at one time or do you limit the class size either for your or the participants sake.

Even if tomorrow somehow all of a sudden tones of people heard about the course, I would still only want 50 people maximum in each session because I have discovered that the smaller class size has a magic to it that is really beautiful (I want to note that I think 50 is actually a pretty big class size but is small compared to those courses with hundreds of participants and really there are only a few classes that get those kinds of numbers, most of us have much smaller class sizes). In fact I think may have become something that draws people to my classes to have that intimate community experience.

So why am I now sharing my class sizes? I now feel confident that the size of my class is not a reflection of my success or failure and I now know the benefit of what a small class can bring.

If you are presently running online courses, I encourage you to not judge your success by your class size (though that doesn’t mean that it won’t still feel vulnerable) and to ponder what size of group feels right for you and for what you want the participants to get out of the course.

You could also ponder this in reference to blogging. Does whether or not someone comments on your blog post equate its value? Could your words in fact be transformative to your readers even if they don’t comment? Sure it may be vulnerable to feel like no one is reading or being inspired by what you have to share but that doesn’t mean that people aren’t affected by your work.

What is most important is that if you are drawn to create a course, or share your work is that you go for it. There is someone else out there who needs to hear what you have to share.

November 11, 2011

Bren & Adam’s Wedding

The first wedding in the summer of love was that of Bren and Adam. We gathered amongst the mountains in the interior of British Columbia.

They were married on a mountaintop overlooking such a beautiful landscape. Bren is a poet and Adam a musician and their wedding was a truly beautiful reflection of their unique selves.

I so treasure the part of the wedding day when I get to take the couple away for a little bit to take photos. What it ends up being is a moment in their day when they are able to be alone and celebrate the fact that they just got married!

After the ceremony we gathered back at the lodge and had a gorgeous evening of music, bocce, beautiful speeches, delious food and incredible company.

Thank you Bren and Adam for having me as your photographer and I’m also mighty grateful to call you two my friends.

November 3, 2011

Turning Jealousy into Creative Action

Oh, I know the feeling well.

You are happily wandering the internet and then you read something about a new thing someone is doing or you see a list of people participating in something and it hits you.

There is no other word for it but jealousy.

From my experience, jealousy is often tied into a romatcized notion I have about what that persons life must be like or how opportunities come to them. So I’ve been thinking about ways to turn that creative jealousy into action and bringing that romanticized notion back to reality.

Build a Base

One dream I have is to write a book and I hear of people all of a sudden getting contacted by an editor and asked to write a book Total jealousy over here. Yet if we really think about it, editors don’t write people out of the blue. You don’t get contacted from someone saying “I know you’ve never written a blog post, but I think you’d be a great writer, wanna write a book?” Nope. These kind of oppourtunities happen to people when they have built a base. When they have worked really really hard to create a body of work or a platform for themselves.

We can build that base by creating a regular practise of our creativity in our life be that writing, blogging, painting, going for a photowalk, writing in a journal. I think the first step of action in order to manifest jealously into creative action is to remember that at one, every sucessful artist/writer/photographer took that first step to building a base for their art.

Get Involved

I have this dream on my mondo beyond list about being involed in a certain project. It has been on that list for years. Yet do I get involved in the many ways they invite people to participate? Nope. Do I get involved in any way that would show the universe I want to be a part of something, other than thinking about it in my head or writing it on a yearly mondo beyondo list? Again, opportunities don’t fall from the sky.

Really, my inaction in getting involved or showing interest is exactly what is holding that dream back from happening. So it is a great reminder to get involved. I won’t be able to cross that off the list if I don’t take action at some point!

Get involved with projects that strikes your fancy? Have a dream that you’d like to manifest? Take a little step toward making that a reality and all those little steps do add up.

Show Your Interest

Another way jealously appears is when we feel left out. Like the other suggestions, we may feel left out without even giving ourselves the opportunity to be involved. Do you wish you were a contributor at a group blog? Ask to write a guest post.

Just ask to get involved in a way that feels right, for right now. Show your interest.

For years I was super jealous every time I’d pick up one of those fabulous Artful Blogging Magazine. Wicked jealous. Yet when I finally contacted the editor and expressed my intent to submit, I ended up in a different magazine by them sharing an article that means a whole lot to me.

In order to be in a gallery show, you have to participate in a call for entries. If you want Getty Images to represent your work, you have to submit images to them. If you want to sell your work on Etsy, you have to set up a shop and list something. If you want to write a book, you have to write a book proposal. If you are feeling triggered by jealousy, what is some way you can take action to manifest that dream yourself. Don’t wait for things to fall into your lap because in reality, that doesn’t happen to most people. Make it clear you want to be involved with something or actively participate in making it a reality.

Don’t Let Fear Hold You Hostage

Fear is a part of this process. Jealousy and fear are good friends to each other, and though they often don’t feel like friends of ours, they do hold a lot of learning for us.

Here’s the thing. Fear doesn’t disappear once you take one step. When I envision my perception of someone else’s creative path, I don’t think about the fear that might come up for them. Yet it does for all of us. ALL OF US. It is an integral part of the process of making a thought or a dream become an action.

I wouldn’t say that the fear has gotten easier in this past year of running a creative business. In the moment it still feels so intense. Yet I guess I’ve learned a bit about how it has a use in making things happen and that I am grateful to feel so much on this path, both the highs and the lows.

Don’t let fear hold you hostage. Feel the rush that happens when you do something you are scared of, despite the fear. Talk about your fear with fellow creative adventurers.

Connect

There are so many ways to connect online these days. To reach out to people on a similar path. It has made all the difference to me to have people to email when I’m in the fear-pre-launching-a-project stage. You don’t have to go it alone. Reach out to groups of folks who are on a similar path, join groups when you can be inspired.

I also found that often when I meet someone in person that I have been jealous of in the past many of those feelings disappear. We’re all just people, trying to express ourselves and find our voice. We’re all just getting by and we’re just trying to make it work.

I wonder sometimes if with launching my courses, I might be triggering someone out there. As you know, when we have these feelings about others it really is something in us asking to be heard. So don’t hesitate to email me if I can cheer you on in manifesting your creative dream yourself.

What about you?

What ways have you found to help turn jealousy into action?

October 21, 2011

These Rainy Days

It is beginning.

Sidewalks coloured red, yellow and orange by a layer of leaves.

A sea of black umbrellas are like a forest canopy on busy city sidealks.

Each leaf of a tree has its own little gathering of water droplets with their own miniature reflections of the world around us.

Fall is here.

I’ve been going for daily photowalks. Often just a block or two, taken when I need a break from the computer or when the rain pauses. I love those times when photo walks become a regular practise. It is such a simple act to go walk a few blocks with a camera and making it a daily action makes me mighty happy.

I’ve been testing out some of the activities I have planned for Light Hunters: Getting through the Grey and taking new photos for this November’s session of the 30 Day Light Hunters class.

I am so excited about offering these two courses in this season, when the sun doesn’t always shine where I live. When I first offered Light Hunters in July, I was surprised how often people would say ‘I can’t wait for the sun to come out so I can go Light Hunting’. That totally rocked, but it also made me want to make sure I inspired the participants to go Light Hunting even when it wasn’t nice outside and to help them to see the the benefits of the more subtle types of light.

Light Hunters: Getting through the Grey has been on my mind as something to share for a long time. For the last few winters I’ve been making lists each year, that I’ve called ‘Getting through the Grey’ which is a list of ideas to get me inspired to keep taking photos even when it isn’t prime photography weather. This course comes from those lists and I’m excited to share them each week with the participants. Whereas the original Light Hunters runs for the month of November, Getting through the Grey involves weekly posts each monday from December to January.

You can find out more about the two Light Hunters classes by following this link.

This week I’ve been all about my macro lens. I think I’ve used it more this week than I have all year. It is those little water droplets on petals or leaves that have me swooning. I also love the way that using a macro lens adds such precision to some parts of the image and blur to others. Here’s a glimpse from yesterdays stroll: