Learn to See Yourself with Compassion

February 12, 2012

14 Days of Self-Love: Day 12 ~ Amy Palko

My son took this photo of me – this is the way he sees me.

When I look at it, I see a woman with a glowy, sparkly aura surrounding her.

I see love shining out of her every pore.

I see a woman who believes in the best of you, who sees the pureness, the goodness, the innate wisdom of your heart.

I see a woman who has tended grazed knees, bruised egos & broken hearts.

I see a deep and infinite source of compassion, of empathy, of trust.

I see a simple happiness that she gets to spend this moment with you.

I see her willingness to forgive your mistakes, her capacity to support you to thrive, to blossom, to flourish.

This is what I see when I look at myself through my son’s eyes, and it’s what I try to see when I look at myself in the mirror. Not always successfully. But I have this photo as a reminder for those days when it’s harder to see that soft love radiating out towards myself.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a photo that someone you love took of you. One where you’ve almost forgotten that a photo was even being taken, and you’ve looked through the lens, beaming your love through to the one who’s holding the camera.

Look at this photo with wonder, for this is how this person sees you – their vision of this deeply loving, caring, tender soul.

Now, the next time you look at yourself in the mirror, truly look through the eyes of the one that took that photo, and see the light of that love shining back at you.

It’s not always easy. And you won’t always be successful. But at least you’ll have a reminder for those days when it’s harder to see the truth – that you are one worthy of giving and receiving love.

A true lover of stories, Amy Palko spends her days reading, writing, knitting and dreaming… well, that is when she’s not being kept busy home-educating her three kids! She is the creatrix of Virgins & Lovers: Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Goddess, exploring goddess myths and moon cycles through story, journalling, visualisation and creative exercise.

February 11, 2012

14 Days of Self-Love: Day 11 ~ Vivienne

I read a post yesterday by the wonderful Elizabeth Halt and it brought me to tears.

She spoke of coming home to herself.

I have both known that feeling and felt so far away from it as well.

Coming home feels to me like those moments where compassion pushes through all the other stories of who we think we should be, why we aren’t good enough, what is wrong with us, why we think we aren’t worthy and says “You are Home my Dear”.

It is tuning out all of those other stories, seeing and trusting our own.

Some days lately I stop and look at myself in the mirror, or in a photo. That girl with the vintage glasses and the long hair looks somehow changed from the girl I knew a year ago. Some times I just smile at her and all the other voices of critique quiet and I feel proud of her and what she is making of herself, abandoning her previously low expectations for herself. She feels like home.

I don’t feel like that every day. That is just the truth. It is an ongoing process, not something that one has mastered and can sell you the secret recipe for self-love.

The way home is woven into the story of who we are, and only we can find the threads to unravel the parts of the story that no longer work for us.

It is writing new stories and telling the old ones they aren’t invited anymore.

It is listening for our own voice.

It is not needing to be anyone that we are not.

It is home.

Let’s try to find a little bit of home today my friends. I’d love to hear about moments when you felt at home in your skin, in your life path, in your relationship to self-love…

February 10, 2012

Bay Area Wanderings

In this past trip I had 2 extra days beyond our adventure to Stinson (no complaints…two days is dreamy) to spend in the east bay and the city. I so craved to put on my walking shoes and walk for hours and hours and just soak in the world around me, armed with a camera or two of course.

The first day I wandered my favourite spots in Oakland and Berkeley. College Avenue, Rockridge, Atomic Garden (beware of the Prairie Underground Hoodies there), Bittersweet, Crossroads (I always find the best thrift scores there) then had lunch with the lovely Andrea at Cafe Gratitude (oh the I am Whole Bowl, I love you).

The next day I headed into the city for a full day of wandering. My first stop was the mission, specifically Clarion Alley which is this gorgeous alley of murals. It was a quiet Tuesday and unlike all of my previous visits to the alley, I had it all to myself (it is usually busy with lots of other folks and their cameras). I had always wanted to do some self-portraits in the Alley and this seemed like the perfect time.

After the Alley I kept wandering the mission, headed over to Chinatown and North Beach (where I found another Alley of murals to take photos in) and then met my pal Valerie for a final trip dinner at the wonderful Gracias Madre.

Happy Belly, Sore Feet, Happy Heart.

February 10, 2012

California Getaway

I’m presently sitting in the San Francisco Airport watching the sun rise through the fog.

It is bright and determined and radiant.

I’ve been away for a week and what a week it has been.

In planning for this trip, we changed the date a number of times, so when it came down to departing, I was really just caught up in what I needed to do to get ready. So I really had no expectations of a trip. I knew I would have fun, but I didn’t know how much the sunshine would lift my spirits and how much I needed to get away from city life for a few days.

This trip was mainly about hanging out with my pals Valerie and Elke and the 3 of us (originally 4…we missed you Elizabeth) just having some restful retreat time.

We rented a place in Stinson Beach for a few days and just settled in. We walked along the lagoon, cooked from scratch and ate oh so well. We had appitizers and wine each night as we sat by the fire. We hiked in Point Reyes Park and had a picnic. We had a beautiful mix of solo and together time and each did what we needed to at any point. It was a low pressure, wonderful trip. Looking back on photos after we got back, it was oh so noticeable how happy we all looked. Wide and true smiles.

And the sun, oh she shone.

February 10, 2012

14 Days of Self Love: Day 10 ~ Liz Lamoreux

As the light faded on a Wednesday evening last summer, I took a few self-portraits. I played with different angles and looks into the camera as the timer beeped. There was even a moment of laughter as I began to simply have fun. But then when I looked through the photos on the camera, I was so distracted by my arms and my tired eyes and…how the list goes on. So I put my camera straight in front of me, closed my eyes, and focused on filling my whole body with love and compassion. I took several breaths just imagining this compassion and love moving throughout my body. Then, while the timer beeped, I looked into the camera imagining I was looking at someone with only love (imagining the look my heart needed in that moment).

Later, when I looked through the photos, I noticed that my thoughts were softer. I saw beauty and a woman taking the time to just be in her life. I saw truth and realness and some wild, maybe even gorgeous, hair. And then I came to this photo and saw a woman choosing to love herself.

Interesting how all the other stuff melts away when you let love fill the cracks.

Try it.

I dare you.

Liz Lamoreux is a retreat host, teacher, author of Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media, and the artist behind the shop Soul Mantras and Other Stories. She believes that we heal each time we unearth our stories and share them through creativity and in community. And in this moment, she is probably singing in her studio as she listens to Paul Simon’s Graceland album and her one-year-old daughter plays with books and fabric scraps beside her, or maybe she is practicing what she teaches and they are both taking a nap.