Deconstructing ‘Flattering’

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Lately at in-person workshops I’m getting this question more and more often: “But Vivienne…how to I take a more flattering photo?”

I confess.  I have found it a hard one to answer.

Now, its not that I don’t have tricks to tell you to help you take a more flattering photo.

Because indeed I do.

It’s the idea of flattering itself.   It’s just not so simple in the context of doing this work around healing body-image and seeing ourselves with kindness through our cameras.

In fact, if you asked me whats on my mind lately, I’d tell you I’m ‘deconstructing flattering’.

With thoughts like:

What are we looking for in a flattering photo?

Are we wanting to fit into a certain perception of beauty?

Are we wanting to hide parts of ourselves?  Is there anything wrong with that?

What about the reality that what is an unflattering photo to one person might actually be an empowering photo to someone else.

When we start thinking in terms of ‘flattery’ too, I feel like we bring in the good or bad perspective and along with it, potential for negative self-talk.

But at the same time, do I not take a whole bunch of photos myself and then most often pick the one that is, well…the most flattering?  It might not have been the primary goal but it is most definitely an element of the process.  And the fact that it isn’t the primary goal has been a really conscious choice, to value the experience & the healing process of taking photos over whether or not I get a photo that is ‘good enough’.

So you see, it isn’t all that simple!

Taking a flattering photo has never been the sole goal of Be Your Own Beloved, in fact you won’t have even seen those words in any of the copy here on the website.  Because what happens when we start to dig into the process I’m teaching here is that we realize that we are indeed so much more than what can be packaged into a flattering photo and that we have more to say in our photos than just that.  We realize how self-portraits can be so much more than just an arms length photo of our face and that we can actually find healing on our way to take photos we love.

Do we happen to take flattering photos in the process?  Absolutely.  But it hasn’t been a way I have wanted to market this work.

Do I have tips for taking a more flattering photo?  You bet.

Still, its a question that is coming up more and more and one that I want to be better prepared to answer in a way that is really accessible (rather than diving into all the theorizing behind why ‘flattering’ doesn’t need to be the goal).

Getting this question lately has me wanting to be able to say “You bet, here’s how” but in a way that embodies the Beloved energy that I feel so clear on in these classes.

Here’s what I’m coming to.  When I say ‘See Ourselves with Compassion’ we have the potential to mean the same thing.  The outcome of both is that we want to see a photo that makes us say YES.  That makes us proud of what we see reflected back.  That makes us want to share it.

This theorizing actually ended up inspired one of the weekly photo walk activities in the Summer of Selfie Love class that starts next week…so I will most definitely be sharing those ‘Tips for Taking Flattering Selfies’ (in a Be Your Own Beloved way) I’ll be sharing it with you early in our summer of self(ie) love!

I kept this class mighty affordable too (its only $39) so I hope you can join us!

I’ll also be adding these tips into some of the upcoming in person workshops I’ll be doing throughout the year as I know ya’ll are hungry for me to answer that question!

You may not hear me call it ‘flattering’ but indeed…we’ll end up with the same result!