So, this afternoon I went out for a run. It was that perfect kind of fall weather…sunny but cool and I know that so much of winter running is usually all about the rain so I wanted to savour the day.
For the first time ever…I wore running tights.
Now, after many years of being a runner, this felt like a pretty big deal.
I mostly have worn running clothes that are pretty loose (or to exercise in general) but in the summer and up until now, something shifted for me.
Did my thighs shrink enough that I was finally cool to wear something so fitted? Nope.
Thats not the reason and also, that doesn’t feel like the relationship I want with my body: One of ‘not enough’ and of being worthy of self-love when I reach a certain goal.
But you know what is shrinking…my body shame.
I run, with these strong legs and they are not something to be ashamed of (nor would they be if they were bigger. Or if I wasn’t a runner).
In the summer I had started to wear running skirts which I definitely think helped me feel more comfortable in running clothes that weren’t baggy and helped me shift towards today. But my skirts still hid my upper thighs, so today feels like a coming out of sorts. As a plus size runner who doesn’t want to hide her body under baggy running clothes anymore.
So I thought i’d get even braver in that moment and practice what i preach & take a self-portrait (and I shared in on Instagram as I finished my run)!
I wanted to share this with you as this path to seeing ourselves with kindness and our body with love is a process and I’m really grateful that what is shrinking is not my body itself, but rather my shame around it.
Because I truly feel that I won’t look back with regret about my body size and wish I was a size 10 (or smaller) but I do feel that I will look back and wish I treated myself with more love just as I am whether or not my body shifts & changes.
To me its about finding my way home to my body and to confidence in it and its a long and winding path. Yet every so often, a little something happens (like deciding to wear my running tights) that feels like a moment of celebration and progress on the path of self-love.
So thanks for letting me share this moment with you.
P.S. The tights are from at Athleta (its these ones in case you are wondering)
And if you’re craving to shift your own body stories and shrink body shame, come join me for the powerful Body Stories class starting March 1st!
.jpg)