Sometimes its not about taking a photos that makes me look skinnier, or is the perfect angle to disguise the fact that I’ve got meat on my bones.
Sometimes its not about masking it, but rather, showing it in a way that makes me feel empowered.
Sometimes I can create a space that feels sacred and safe both in the taking of the photos and the viewing them, where no critics are allowed.
Sometimes I forget that other people might see this photo and have their own judgements about my body.
Sometimes I see in her someone she is becoming rather than who she has been.
Sometimes I see without the stories of how her life, her identity, her gender, her body should be.
I just see her.
Clearly.
With no judgements.
Just love.
And sometimes I don’t. Because I’m hurt. Because I’m healing. Because I’m tenderhearted. Because unlearning patterns is hard work and not linear. Because this is a process and part of the process is losing our way in order to find our way back again.
Resilience.
So I just show up in front of the camera, again and again.
Hoping to see the her this time. In Me. The one I’ve been looking for.
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I’ve gathered up a whole bunch of tools and exercises for using self-portraiture as a tool to cultivate self-love and I’ll be sharing them with you in the upcoming sessions of Beloved Beginnings & Be Your Own Beloved