I’ve been nervous about arriving at your doorstep.
You are a number that gets tossed around, especially for us women, as an age where our fertility heads downhill. As a single lady who feels like being a mama is part of her life path, it was feeling overwhelming to have you near. As though I’ve failed at something by reaching you childless, though I know in my heart that is not true at all.
I’m starting to realize though, that you are not so scary after all.
The 30’s so far have been my favourite decade of life yet, so I shouldn’t doubt that you would follow its lead.
Now that you and I are hanging out for the next 360 days, I’m holding onto hope. I have a few big dreams I’d like to take action on and I most definitely need hope in order to get me towards them this year. Plus, it feels like holding onto hope and having faith is exactly the right course of action. Right now I’m on a trip on Vancouver Island to Ucluelet and Tofino and I brought along a tarot deck. We’ve each been pulling a card each day and last nights card, the star, spoke of how I feel about you 35. It reminded me to have faith in the future.
On the day you and I became one 35, I gathered with a few friends and giggled our way through breakfast, including sharing a brunch brownie, 4 forks nibbling away at it. I got my first ever mani/pedi (evidence seen in the above photo) and then gathered again with a few friends for some pizza, gelato and sunset walking. It was a simple, lighthearted day that really felt like I could live in the moment. I’m hoping that is a sign of what is ahead for this year.
So, 35. I don’t know what is ahead, but I’m going to follow the cards and hold onto faith that you and I have each other’s best interests at heart.